Skip to main content

Catholic Corned Beef Crisis

 

This past Friday marked an important celebration in church history, especially for Irish Catholics: St Patrick's Day. And how better to celebrate than getting drunk making a traditional meal of corned beef and cabbage? However, this past Friday was also a part of Lent and this year's celebration falls on a Friday, making for a crisis of faith. Corned fish just isn't the same. 

For the first time ever, Roman Catholic bishops broke with tradition, allowing for a special "disposition" granting their parishioners a pass from following their man-made rules. Bishop O'Doul from St. Patrick's Cathedral in Manhattan said, "We know that some people really need to earn that penance by abstaining from meat every Friday for 40 days, but we determined that the veneration of St. Patrick is more important. I mean, we commemorate the death of Christ all the time. We have Him perpetually hanging in our cathedrals, and we practically crucify Him every time we take communion. The Irish only get to eat corned beef and drink Guinness once a year. Who am I to stop them?"

It was not clear, however, why some dioceses chose not to grant this dispensation, and what it meant for their followers. 

Some Roman Catholics were surprisingly less than pleased with the exception. John O'Brian of Philadelphia said, "We left Ireland 40 years ago to escape the Troubles that came with the Protestants and their influence, only to find that it has pervaded the very church in the United States. How dare they break with sacred tradition? We can't even be bothered to wait until Saturday? When did the church start making up its own rules?" How do we even know which dioceses have it right? 

The bishops defended their decision as a sign of grace that recognizes the importance of St. Patrick's Day for many Roman Catholics and encourages them to set aside ritual for remembrance. "We are not abolishing the season of Lent altogether," said Cardinal Ryan Dolan of New York in a statement. "We are simply making an exception for this special holiday that honors a beloved saint known for evangelizing, defending the Trinity, and abolishing snakes." He added that those who take advantage of the dispensation are encouraged to perform some other act of penance or charity to make up for breaking the tradition of meatless Fridays. "Maybe you volunteer to help the church for once, or maybe you can donate a little extra this Sunday," he suggested. "We like money. You think maintaining all these fancy cathedrals is cheap? Don't forget to add a little extra to get you and your family members out of purgatory sooner."

When we interviewed people of Protestant denominations, they all just laughed, except for the premillenialists, who perked up noticeably at the mention of "dispensation," and began to argue amongst themselves about the impending rapture and tribulation. 

Tags: #calvinistchronicle #Reformed #reformedtheology #dutchreformed #reformedchurch #Presbyterian #presbyterianism #reformedbaptist #Baptist #particularbaptist #sovereigngrace #lutheran #lutheranism #christian #christianity #calvinism #calvinist #Arminius #arminian #pelagius #pelagian #servetus #freewill #theism #theistic #atheistic #agnostic #heresy #heretic #heretical #jesus #jesuschrist #God #holyspirit #gospel #faith #church #bible #scripture #salvation #truth #grace #theologymatters #fivesolas #fivesolasofthereformation #solascriptura #soluschristus #solafide #solagratia #solideogloria #faithalone #scripturealone #christalone #gracealone #gloryofgodalone #fivepoints #fivepointsofcalvinism #tulip #totaldepravity #unconditionalelection #limitedatonement #irresistiblegrace #perseveranceofthesaints #martinluther #johncalvin #rcsproul #johnmacarthur #charlesspurgeon #paulwasher #satire #christiansatire #reformedsatire #baptistsatire #solasatura 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dave Ramsey Flags Reformation Heritage Books as “Spiritual Treasure, Budgetary Trap”

Financial guru says the Puritans are great, but maxing out your credit card for a 12‑volume set on covenant theology is not a “baby step.” NASHVILLE — Personal finance icon Dave Ramsey has reportedly issued a pointed caution to Christians everywhere: Reformation Heritage Books is a spiritual danger to your budget, and one careless click on “Complete Works of John Owen” could slide you straight back into the “debt spiral” he has spent decades trying to prevent. According to sources familiar with the matter, the warning came during a segment on “biblically responsible spending,” when a caller asked whether it was wise to purchase a multi‑volume set of Reformed classics on a credit card. “Look,” Ramsey reportedly replied, “I love the Puritans. I love deep theology. I do not love you going into debt for a book you will read six pages of before you fall asleep.” Ramsey’s team is said to have flagged Reformation Heritage Books not because the content is bad, but because the catalog is long, ...

Church Sound Tech Gets Doom Running On Sanctuary Soundboard

Volunteer says the game is fully contained on the mixer’s tiny touchscreen and has not affected worship, apart from the pastor’s microphone now occasionally displaying “God Mode.” CEDAR GROVE, USA — A Reformed church’s sound technician briefly became the most popular member of the media team Sunday after successfully getting the original Doom to run on the sanctuary’s digital soundboard. The game remained entirely on the console’s maintenance screen, church leaders confirmed, and no imagery or game audio was played through the sanctuary speakers. The soundboard still delivered the sermon, psalms, Scripture reading, and announcements normally—provided nobody pressed the newly labeled button marked DO NOT ENABLE GOD MODE DURING CALL TO WORSHIP. Doom, released by id Software in 1993, became both a landmark first-person shooter and a longstanding target for technical hobbyists who enjoy making it run on improbable hardware.  Digital audio mixers are also common in worship settings, whe...

Shane & Shane’s Newest Partnership: Slayer

Bethel Music Out, “Reign in Worship” Begins In a shocking turn of events, the popular Christian worship duo Shane and Shane responded to the public backlash and have announced that they are canceling their planned collaboration with Bethel music, citing "creative differences" and "theological concerns". Instead, they have revealed that they are partnering with the legendary thrash metal band Slayer for a new album and tour. "We feel that Slayer is a better fit for our vision and message," said Shane Barnard, one half of the duo. "They are passionate, authentic, and not afraid to challenge the status quo. We share a lot of common ground with them, especially on topics like sin, judgment, and the end times." Shane Everett, the other half of the duo, added: "We have always admired Slayer's musical prowess and lyrical depth. They are masters of their craft and have influenced generations of metalheads. We are honored to join forces with them...