“We’ve had one wife, yes,” says Peregrin Took. “But what about second wife?” HOBBITON — A disturbance broke out at the Shire’s Sunday gathering after Pastor Peregrin Took introduced his “second wife,” prompting Gandalf to rise slowly from the back pew. “You’ve already had one,” the wizard said. “We’ve had one wife, yes,” Pippin replied. “But what about second wife?” Merry leaned toward him. “I don’t think he knows about second wife, Pip.” “Oh, I know about her,” Gandalf said. “It is the first wife’s understanding of the arrangement that concerns me.” She was seated beside the aisle, wearing an expression that caused several hobbits to reconsider remaining for the reception. Pippin explained that his heart had called him toward a new adventure. “Your heart also called you toward the palantír,” Gandalf replied. “We do not regard every Tookish impulse as divine guidance.” An emergency meeting of the elders was convened at Bag End, where Pippin argued that a hobbit should not be expected t...
“Could still be a natural formation,” says expert reviewing vessel title signed by son of Lamech. EASTERN TÜRKIYE — Researchers investigating the suspected site of Noah’s Ark announced Tuesday that they had recovered a hull identification plate and accompanying registration listing the owner as “Noah,” prompting immediate calls for additional testing. The discovery follows renewed investigations at the Durupınar formation, where researchers have reported possible structural features and collected samples, but have not established that the formation is a vessel or Noah’s Ark. The inquiry took an unexpected administrative turn when a researcher brushed sediment from a plate reading “ARK-000001” and discovered a waterproof document pouch behind it. “Registered owner: Noah. Father: Lamech. Authorized operators: Shem, Ham, Japheth,” the researcher read aloud. “Primary use: preservation of terrestrial life.” A colleague asked whether the document included anything more specific. “...