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Ramsey Lending Services

The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, pictured
 

Popular financial guru Dave Ramsey has just unveiled his latest service to the public - a lending service targeting people who need to free themselves from debt. In an interview with the associated press, Gordon Ramsey proudly said: "I know how costly it can be learning how to save money, and the people who need to take my Financial Peace Planning often can't afford the upfront costs. So now I'm offering another way for people to learn to be smart with their money - by purchasing my overpriced, I mean priceless [sic] lessons!" When asked for specifics, Ramsay stated: "You can sign up for financing and receive all my materials for the low upfront cost of $29.99 a month for 60 months! But wait, there's more! If you buy now, I'll also include my booklet on 'Impulse Spending,' but it's only available while supplies last, so hurry and order your copy today!"

Not everyone is happy with the latest offerings, though. A buyer who wished to be identified only by the name of Karen expressed regret about her purchase. "I was so excited that I could finally afford a Dave Ramsey book. I mean, 30 bucks a month was stretching my budget but I figured I'd save more than that anyway, right? And who wouldn't like a free book on top of it? So I open the book and it just says 'Stop buying stuff you don't need with money you don't have.' Like, that's pretty much it. The end. Who does he think he is, my mother?" She continued, "I did get a bunch of envelopes with the main program too, but there was nothing in them. I thought they were supposed to have money in them or something, like when somebody buys your a wallet, but... nope. Nothing but air."

A man who identified himself as Larry also had some interesting feedback. He said, "I thought I was buying the Dave Ramsey books, but I think my order got mixed up and I was sent a set of Gordon Ramsay cookbooks." Despite the purchasing error, Larry decided to stick it out. He continued, "I didn't learn how to save any money, but now I can make an amazing Rack of Lamb, and my family raves about my Beef Wellington. Who knows, maybe I'll enter the Next Level Chef and win a quarter million dollars. What do you think of that, Dave? Is my kitchen remodel worth it now?"


Tags: #daveramsey #gordonramsay #calvinistchronicle #Reformed #reformedtheology #dutchreformed #reformedchurch #Presbyterian #presbyterianism #reformedbaptist #Baptist #particularbaptist #sovereigngrace #lutheran #lutheranism #christian #christianity #calvinism #calvinist #Arminius #arminian #pelagius #pelagian #servetus #freewill #theism #theistic #atheistic #agnostic #heresy #heretic #heretical #jesus #jesuschrist #God #holyspirit #gospel #faith #church #bible #scripture #salvation #truth #grace #theologymatters #fivesolas #fivesolasofthereformation #solascriptura #soluschristus #solafide #solagratia #solideogloria #faithalone #scripturealone #christalone #gracealone #gloryofgodalone #fivepoints #fivepointsofcalvinism #tulip #totaldepravity #unconditionalelection #limitedatonement #irresistiblegrace #perseveranceofthesaints #martinluther #johncalvin #rcsproul #johnmacarthur #charlesspurgeon #paulwasher #satire #christiansatire #reformedsatire #baptistsatire #solasatura


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