Skip to main content

Recently Discovered 6th Sola, Point of Calvinism Found

Recently Discovered 6th Sola, Point of Calvinism Found


Historic manuscripts have just been found which revealed a lost "6th Sola" of the Protestant Reformation. This mysterious 6th Sola is known in the original Latin as "Sola Satura," which translated means "Satire Alone." It is well-known that satire was a common tool of Martin Luther and his contemporaries, as clearly proven by such media as his commentary of John Chrisostomo in "Die Lügend von S. Johanne Chrysostomo," the illustration "Leo X, Murner, Emser, Eck and Lemp as Animals," and others...not to mention the attempts of the Counter-Reformers and Papist sympathizers to brand the actual 95 Theses as amusing satire to those who follow the A̶n̶t̶i̶c̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶ Pope.

Unsurprisingly, Protestant Reformer and father of the Presbyterian and Dutch Reformed churches John Calvin seemed well aware of these teachings, as previously overlooked writings were recently re-examined in light of the 6th Sola revealing a related "6th Point of Calvinism " which had been hiding in plain sight all this time. For centuries it was believed that an "S" was mistakenly added occasionally to the TULIP acronym to pluralize it; however, the 6th Sola revealed a correlation to the context of the "S" and it was revealed that "Sarcasm" was actually the missing "Point." Modern intent lnternet theologians have long attempted to determine the link between Calvinists and their ever so common sardonic wit, which they use increasingly in their responses to what they call Arminianism, Semi-Pelagianism, Free-Will-ism, Pagan philosophies, or simply heresy. In light of this revelation, it is now clear that the gift of Sarcasm was so clearly implied in Calvin's teachings that his believers unconsciously embodied this "6th Point" the whole time. To quote an Internet user known only as CageStage1613, "Calvin was roasting Arminians like Servetus from the beginning. Now we just burn heretics on the internet." It remains to be seen just how Calvinists will utilize this newfound information and to what degree it will affect their interaction with people who hold to different beliefs, or as they like to call them, "apostates."

#calvinistchronicle #Reformed #reformedtheology #dutchreformed #reformedchurch #Presbyterian #presbyterianism #reformedbaptist #Baptist #particularbaptist #sovereigngrace #lutheran #lutheranism #christian #christianity #calvinism #calvinist #Arminius #arminian #pelagius #pelagian #servetus #freewill #theism #theistic #atheistic #agnostic #heresy #heretic #heretical #jesus #jesuschrist #God #holyspirit #gospel #faith #church #bible #scripture #salvation #truth #grace #theologymatters #fivesolas #fivesolasofthereformation #solascriptura #soluschristus #solafide #solagratia #solideogloria #faithalone #scripturealone #christalone #gracealone #gloryofgodalone #fivepoints #fivepointsofcalvinism #tulip #totaldepravity #unconditionalelection #limitedatonement #irresistiblegrace #perseveranceofthesaints #martinluther #johncalvin #rcsproul #johnmacarthur #charlesspurgeon #paulwasher #satire #christiansatire #reformedsatire #baptistsatire #solasatura 

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Border Patrol Sends Steven Anderson to Armenia Over Misunderstanding

When Your Theological Flex Gets Lost in Translation Original image is Public Domain, courtesy of the United States Department of Homeland Security BORDER PATROL CHECKPOINT, AZ - In a bizarre twist of theological proportions, Pastor Steven Anderson's latest encounter with Border Patrol agents took an unexpected turn when he attempted to evangelize his way through a routine checkpoint. When asked about his citizenship, Anderson reportedly launched into an impromptu sermon, declaring, "I'm a citizen of Heaven, brother! Let me tell you about the Good News!" As the bemused agent tried to detain him, Anderson proclaimed, "You can't detain me! I'm free to believe because I'm Arminian!" The agent, mishearing the theological term, immediately sprang into action, shouting, "Armenian? We've got ourselves an illegal!" Chaos ensued as agents attempted to deport the protesting pastor to Armenia. "I said Arminian, not Armenian!" Anderson...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pastor Jane's Inappropriate Relationships Spark Cheers of 'Yaaaaasss Queen' Amidst Ecclesiastical Double Standards

Breaking the Stained-Glass Ceiling: Pastor Jane's Scandalous Path to Feminist Icon Status In a groundbreaking moment for ecclesiastical equality, Pastor Jane Doe has become a beacon of feminist empowerment after being caught in a series of inappropriate relationships with male congregants. Her actions have sparked a wave of support, with many hailing her as a "Yaaaaasss Queen" for shattering the stained-glass ceiling. While male pastors have historically faced defrocking for similar indiscretions, Pastor Jane's case has been celebrated as a triumph of modern feminism. "Why should men have all the fun?" quipped one supporter, highlighting the double standards that have long plagued religious institutions. Critics, however, point to biblical texts that traditionally restrict the role of pastor to men and suggest women should remain silent in church. Yet, Pastor Jane's followers argue that these interpretations are outdated and patriarchal. "If she can...
Post a Comment
Read more

Once Judeo-Christian Nation Watches Debate To Determine Which Immoral Reprobate Best Qualified to Lead

Nation’s Moral Compass Goes Haywire, Formally Resigns Following Debate Philadelphia - In a spectacle that could only be described as a divine comedy, the nation once hailed as a "Judeo-Christian" nation gathered to watch the presidential debate, eager to determine which immoral reprobate would best lead them forward. The candidates, both seasoned in the art of moral ambiguity, took the stage with the confidence of televangelists at a Sunday sermon.   As the candidates took the stage, the audience was treated to a spectacle reminiscent of a reality show, complete with mudslinging and moral gymnastics that would make even the most seasoned circus performer blush. One candidate, known for his "alternative facts," argued passionately that he had the best rallies in the history of political rallies, while another claimed to be “unburdened by the past” [but still current] administration’s numerous international scandals and blunders, promising that to fix everything she h...
Post a Comment
Read more