Skip to main content

Recently Discovered 6th Sola, Point of Calvinism Found

Recently Discovered 6th Sola, Point of Calvinism Found


Historic manuscripts have just been found which revealed a lost "6th Sola" of the Protestant Reformation. This mysterious 6th Sola is known in the original Latin as "Sola Satura," which translated means "Satire Alone." It is well-known that satire was a common tool of Martin Luther and his contemporaries, as clearly proven by such media as his commentary of John Chrisostomo in "Die Lügend von S. Johanne Chrysostomo," the illustration "Leo X, Murner, Emser, Eck and Lemp as Animals," and others...not to mention the attempts of the Counter-Reformers and Papist sympathizers to brand the actual 95 Theses as amusing satire to those who follow the A̶n̶t̶i̶c̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶ Pope.

Unsurprisingly, Protestant Reformer and father of the Presbyterian and Dutch Reformed churches John Calvin seemed well aware of these teachings, as previously overlooked writings were recently re-examined in light of the 6th Sola revealing a related "6th Point of Calvinism " which had been hiding in plain sight all this time. For centuries it was believed that an "S" was mistakenly added occasionally to the TULIP acronym to pluralize it; however, the 6th Sola revealed a correlation to the context of the "S" and it was revealed that "Sarcasm" was actually the missing "Point." Modern intent lnternet theologians have long attempted to determine the link between Calvinists and their ever so common sardonic wit, which they use increasingly in their responses to what they call Arminianism, Semi-Pelagianism, Free-Will-ism, Pagan philosophies, or simply heresy. In light of this revelation, it is now clear that the gift of Sarcasm was so clearly implied in Calvin's teachings that his believers unconsciously embodied this "6th Point" the whole time. To quote an Internet user known only as CageStage1613, "Calvin was roasting Arminians like Servetus from the beginning. Now we just burn heretics on the internet." It remains to be seen just how Calvinists will utilize this newfound information and to what degree it will affect their interaction with people who hold to different beliefs, or as they like to call them, "apostates."

#calvinistchronicle #Reformed #reformedtheology #dutchreformed #reformedchurch #Presbyterian #presbyterianism #reformedbaptist #Baptist #particularbaptist #sovereigngrace #lutheran #lutheranism #christian #christianity #calvinism #calvinist #Arminius #arminian #pelagius #pelagian #servetus #freewill #theism #theistic #atheistic #agnostic #heresy #heretic #heretical #jesus #jesuschrist #God #holyspirit #gospel #faith #church #bible #scripture #salvation #truth #grace #theologymatters #fivesolas #fivesolasofthereformation #solascriptura #soluschristus #solafide #solagratia #solideogloria #faithalone #scripturealone #christalone #gracealone #gloryofgodalone #fivepoints #fivepointsofcalvinism #tulip #totaldepravity #unconditionalelection #limitedatonement #irresistiblegrace #perseveranceofthesaints #martinluther #johncalvin #rcsproul #johnmacarthur #charlesspurgeon #paulwasher #satire #christiansatire #reformedsatire #baptistsatire #solasatura 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cracker Barrel Celebrates Pride with Drag Brunch and Bud Light

Cracker Barrel's Business Booms Despite Conservative Boycotts Thanks to Drag Queen Brunch and Bud Light Image source: Cracker Barrel's Official Facebook Page Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, the popular Southern-themed restaurant chain, has seen a surge in business despite facing boycotts from conservative groups for its support of Pride Month. The reason? A new menu item that has attracted customers from all walks of life: the drag queen brunch. The drag queen brunch, which is offered every Sunday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., features a variety of dishes such as rainbow pancakes, glitter grits, and fabulous french toast. But the main attraction is the live entertainment provided by some of the most talented drag queens in the country, who perform songs, dances, and comedy routines while interacting with the guests. "We wanted to do something fun and different to celebrate Pride Month and show our support for the LGBTQ+ community," said Cracker Barrel CEO Sandra Cochran. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pride: Remembering Sodom & Gomorrah

Sodom and Gomorrah: The Original Pride Parade Gone Wrong As the calendar turns to June, rainbow flags and glitter will soon blanket city streets worldwide to celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride Month. But before you head out to party, let's take a moment to reflect on the very first recorded Pride parade that didn't go quite as planned - the ill-fated cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. For those rusty on their biblical history, Sodom and Gomorrah were neighboring municipalities around the Dead Sea renowned for their hospitality and...other proclivities. When two angels visited the cities incognito, the residents rolled out the welcome mat in a manner that would make modern swingers blush.  Lot, a seemingly chill dude who just wanted to mind his own business, tried to protect the angels from the amorous townsfolk. But despite his pleas to "not act wickedly," the cities' citizens continued to pursue their unconventional interests with gusto befitting their reputation as the original ...
Post a Comment
Read more

To Protect Last Political Allies from Trump, Biden Pardons Pilate, the Sanhedrin

Critics Say Presidential Clemency 2,000 Years Too Late In a shocking twist of historical revisionism, President Biden has issued a last-minute presidential pardon for Pontius Pilate and the Sanhedrin, effectively settling a 2,000-year-old legal dispute. The unprecedented move comes as Biden clears his presidential desk, seemingly determined to resolve theological legal matters that have been pending since the first century. "Sometimes, you've got to wash your hands of ancient history—literally," Biden reportedly quipped, making a clear reference to Pilate's infamous hand-washing gesture. The pardon documents hilariously cite "administrative oversight" and "bureaucratic complications" as primary reasons for the belated legal clemency. Religious scholars and historians are bewildered, with one anonymous theologian remarking, "Well, that's one way to end a presidency—by retroactively solving a crucifixion controversy." The White House pr...
Post a Comment
Read more