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Calvinist Awards Honorary Seminary Degrees to Online Opponents

 

Calvinist Awards Honorary Seminary Degrees to Online Opponents


A local Calvinist has announced that he will be awarding honorary seminary degrees to anyone who engages with him in online debates about the Bible and theology.

The Calvinist, who goes by the username "SoliDeoGloria1689", said that he considers himself qualified to grant such degrees because he has read dozens of books by John Piper, R.C. Sproul, and John MacArthur, and has listened to hundreds of hours of sermons and podcasts by various Reformed preachers.

"I have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom that I want to share with others," he said. "But most people are too ignorant or stubborn to appreciate it. They don't understand the doctrines of grace, the five solas, or the TULIP acronym. They don't even know what exegesis or hermeneutics mean. They just spout their opinions based on their feelings or traditions."

He said that whenever he encounters someone who disagrees with him on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit, he challenges them to a debate and proceeds to lecture them on why they are wrong and why he is right. He said that he uses a variety of tactics, such as quoting Scripture out of context, misrepresenting the views of his opponents, appealing to authority, and resorting to ad hominem attacks.

"I don't hold back," he said. "I tell them the truth, even if it hurts. I expose their errors and inconsistencies. I show them how they are contradicting the Word of God and the historic creeds and confessions. I make them look foolish and ignorant in front of everyone."

He said that after he has thoroughly refuted his opponents, he awards them an honorary seminary degree from his own institution, which he calls "The School of Soli Deo Gloria". He said that the degree is a sign of his magnanimity and grace, as well as a way of mocking his adversaries.

"I want them to know that I have pity on them," he said. "I want them to realize how much they need to learn from me. I want them to feel ashamed and humbled. And I want them to have something to hang on their wall as a reminder of their defeat."

He said that he has already awarded dozens of honorary degrees in various fields of theology, such as soteriology, ecclesiology, eschatology, and apologetics. He said that he plans to continue his online ministry until everyone submits to his views or blocks him.

"I'm doing this for the glory of God," he said. "He has chosen me to be his instrument in spreading the gospel of grace and defending the faith once for all delivered to the saints. I'm not here to make friends or please people. I'm here to proclaim the truth and win souls for Christ."

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