Coldplay Concert Breaks Out Into Altar Call

Concert Attendees Drop to Their Knees in Spontaneous Worship

Photo: Anna Lee Media

Seattle, WA - Concert-goers got more than they were expecting when, in the midst of a set, a Coldplay Concert suddenly broke out into an impromptu altar call.

Halfway into their hot single "My Universe" featuring K-Pop group BTS, a large crowd began to form at the base of the stage. Surprisingly, one by one each person dropped to their knees, arms outstretched, loudly proclaiming their need for Chris Martin and then prayed the lyrics to "Hymn for the Weekend" with one another to accept Coldplay into their hearts.

One attendee we interviewed who called herself Jenna told us, "... It was such an emotional moment. I was such a skeptic before, and I didn't even really think that Coldplay was a real band, and if it was, I didn't really care, anyway. The world is so big, so why should Coldplay care about me? But once I heard that chorus, I realized that it didn't matter how big their fan base was, I knew that I could be their universe and have a personal relationship with them."

Jenna went on to share her newfound enthusiasm as a "Coldplayer," the title adopted by new followers. She continued on, saying, "I totally plan on coming back every week and becoming a member of their fan club! Well... actually I have to work, and the next week I have other plans, but Chris Martin totally changed my life and I'm a new person! You can still be a Coldplay fan without going every week, right?"

Another person remarked, "This was just like a Sunday service I went to with a friend at that Crucible Chantry place down the street, but without some crazy story about people getting beamed up and Apache helicopters and zombies! The lights and fog machines are way better here too."

Coldplay’s spokesperson denied any allegations of proselytism, saying that the band’s intention was to “create a positive and memorable experience for their fans”. “Coldplay is not a religious band, nor are they affiliated with any church or denomination. They are simply expressing their artistic vision and sharing their message of hope and peace with the world. Any resemblance to an altar call is purely coincidental and unintentional.”

The spokesperson also added that the band respects the beliefs and opinions of all their fans, regardless of their faith or background. “Coldplay welcomes everyone to their concerts, and they hope that everyone can enjoy their music and have fun. They do not judge anyone or force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. They just want to spread some love and joy in these troubled times.”

Comments

Christian Pacifists Reinterpret Romans 13 After Tragic Animal Incidents

Fred and Peanut Become Latest Mascots for Justice In a surprising twist, Christian pacifists have taken a page from the revolutionary Presbyterians' book by reinterpreting Romans 13, following the tragic demise of Fred the squirrel and Peanut the raccoon at the hands of government officials. These furry martyrs have sparked a theological debate, as pacifists now argue that Romans 13 supports civil disobedience against unjust state actions. Fred and Peanut, beloved local mascots, were allegedly "neutralized" for causing minor disruptions in a public park. Their untimely deaths have become a rallying cry for pacifists, who argue that the state's actions were neither just nor necessary. In response, pacifists assert that Romans 13, traditionally seen as a call to obey governing authorities, actually mandates resistance when the state acts contrary to God's will. They emphasize Paul's call to "overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21) as a directive to ch...

Cracker Barrel Celebrates Pride with Drag Brunch and Bud Light

Cracker Barrel's Business Booms Despite Conservative Boycotts Thanks to Drag Queen Brunch and Bud Light Image source: Cracker Barrel's Official Facebook Page Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, the popular Southern-themed restaurant chain, has seen a surge in business despite facing boycotts from conservative groups for its support of Pride Month. The reason? A new menu item that has attracted customers from all walks of life: the drag queen brunch. The drag queen brunch, which is offered every Sunday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., features a variety of dishes such as rainbow pancakes, glitter grits, and fabulous french toast. But the main attraction is the live entertainment provided by some of the most talented drag queens in the country, who perform songs, dances, and comedy routines while interacting with the guests. "We wanted to do something fun and different to celebrate Pride Month and show our support for the LGBTQ+ community," said Cracker Barrel CEO Sandra Cochran. ...

Men Named "David" More Likely to Suffer Identity Crisis

Matt Chandler, the lead pastor of Southern Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas, has shot to the evangelical spotlight in after preaching a sermon in which he proclaims that "You're not David!" to an unsuspecting captive audience. In doing so, however, he inadvertently caused a mass identity crisis among an unlikely, oddly-specific demographic: people who actually are named "David." One person, who commented on the condition of anonymity, said: "I've been called David my whole life. Now that I've been told I'm not David, I don't even know who I am anymore. I've started going by my middle name, but nobody's ever called me "Matthew" before and it's really taking some getting used to. My children look at me like I'm a stranger. My wife says she feels like she's sleeping with another man. I feel like a stranger in my own skin. I'm having an identity crisis. What do I do? We reached out to a local counselor for ...

The Calvinist Chronicle

Search This Blog