Trending: Millstone Neckware

Millstone Necklace Sales On the Rise!

As progressives and the gender fluid increasingly target the younger generations in an effort to evangelize and militarize the youth to their cause, an two unlikely markets have begun to converge under the latest trend: Fashion, and the Millstone industry.

What's particularly interesting is that millstones, historically used to break down grains into fine powder commonly used for baking and oatmeal products, have found an unique niche among the fashion trends of the elite, particularly in Hollywood and exclusive political circles. Demand has skyrocketed, with these classic designs of yester-year's industry being attached to sturdy chains and worn around the neck, reminiscent of the full-sized clocks often worn by 1980's rappers Run DMC. However, these next millstones are not combined with urban track suits, but swim attire.

When asked about the recent trend, one such wearer, obviously struggling to stand up with the weight around his neck, stated: "The Bible says if you cause a child to stumble, it's better to wear one of these around your neck and throw yourself in the ocean. What better way to celebrate the successful indoctrination of innocent children than flaunting Biblical judgment? I mean, the rainbow was already taken and played out, and besides, this seemed like a great fashion accessory. And who doesn't like a good swim after a pizza party in a secret New York basement? Oh, and with that new movie 'Sound of Freedom' out, all the elites are sure to start wearing these, but I started doing it before it was !"

At the time of writing, it had not been determined how easy or possible it would be to swim with such heavy decor around your neck. Furthermore, we do not endorse such activity without the approval of a licensed physician.

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