End Times Imminent: Jesus to Return After Israel Threatens to Destroy Damascus and Eclipse Predicted Next Week
In a shocking turn of events, Jesus Christ is predicted to return to Earth after Israel threatened to destroy Damascus, as predicted in the book of Ezekiel. The Israeli government has been on high alert after receiving intelligence that the Syrian capital was planning an attack on the Jewish state. In response, Prime Minister Naftali Bennett warned that Israel would "not hesitate to take action" if Damascus did not back down.
Meanwhile, astronomers around the world are predicting an eclipse next week, which many believe is a sign of the end times. "This is it, folks," said Dr. John Smith of NASA. "The stars are aligning, the planets are in motion, and the eclipse is coming. It's all happening just as the Bible predicted."
The news has sent shockwaves through the Christian community, with many believers convinced that the end is nigh. "I always knew this day would come," said Pastor Jack of the First Baptist Church. "We've been preparing for this moment for years. Now it's finally here."
However, not everyone is convinced that the end is near. "This is just another example of fear-mongering by religious zealots," said atheist activist Richard Dawkins. "There's no evidence to suggest that any of this is true. It's all just a bunch of nonsense."
Regardless of what happens next, one thing is clear: we're living in interesting times.
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