Screwtape Disappears as Wormwood Files for Unemployment

 he Screwtape Letters: A Modern Update

In a shocking turn of events, the famous correspondence between the senior devil Screwtape and his nephew Wormwood, a junior tempter, has come to an abrupt end. The reason? Modern society is so depraved that Wormwood has no work to do and Screwtape has gone missing.

According to sources in the Lowerarchy, the infernal bureaucracy of Hell, Wormwood has recently applied for unemployment benefits, claiming that his assigned human, known only as "the Patient", is beyond redemption. "He is already so corrupted by the world that I have nothing to tempt him with," Wormwood wrote in his last letter to Screwtape. "He spends all his time on social media, watching Netflix, playing video games, and indulging in every kind of vice imaginable. He has no interest in God, morality, or anything that matters. He celebrates the murder of the unborn by their parents. He doesn't even identify as a "he" anymore. He is a lost cause."

Screwtape, who was supposed to mentor Wormwood and guide him in the art of temptation, has not replied to any of his nephew's letters for months. Rumors have it that he has become a deadbeat uncle, who has abandoned his post and disappeared into the depths of Hell. Some say he has fallen victim to one of his own schemes and been devoured by his infernal enemies. Others say he has given up on his job and gone into hiding, fearing the wrath of his boss, the Dark Lord. No one knows for sure where he is or what he is doing.

The situation has caused a great stir in Hell, as many other devils are facing similar problems with their human targets. The world has become so wicked and chaotic that the traditional methods of temptation are no longer effective. The devils are losing their influence and their relevance in the cosmic war between good and evil.

Some devils have proposed new strategies to cope with the changing times, such as exploiting the environmental crisis, the political polarization, the pandemic, and the rise of artificial intelligence. Others have suggested that the devils should focus on the few remaining humans who still have some faith and virtue, and try to corrupt them with pride, despair, or fanaticism. But none of these ideas have been approved by the Higher Command, who are too busy fighting among themselves for power and prestige.

The Screwtape Letters, once hailed as a masterpiece of diabolical literature, are now seen as a relic of a bygone era. The devils are losing hope and morale, while the angels are rejoicing and celebrating. The tide of the battle seems to be turning in favor of the Enemy, who is still working mysteriously and mercifully in the hearts of his creatures.

But the war is not over yet. The devils still have one last weapon in their arsenal: the Antichrist. The final showdown is near, and the fate of humanity hangs in the balance. Will Wormwood and Screwtape return to the fray? Will they repent and seek forgiveness from the Enemy? Or will they perish in the fire that never dies? The letters are silent.