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Molinism: The Ultimate Troll Move by the Jesuits

A Hilarious Hoax or Brilliant Satire?




A shocking discovery has been made by a team of historians who were studying the manuscripts of Luis de Molina, the 16th-century Spanish theologian who is credited with developing the doctrine of Molinism. According to the researchers, they found a hidden note in one of the pages, written in a secret code, that reveals the true intention behind Molinism: it was a satirical attempt by the Jesuits to blend Calvinism and Arminianism to mock them both.

Molinism is a theological system that tries to reconcile the sovereignty of God and the free will of humans, by proposing that God has middle knowledge of all possible scenarios and chooses the best one to actualize. It was meant to be a middle ground between the Calvinist view that God predestines everything and the Arminian view that God foresees everything.

However, the note, which was deciphered by a cryptologist, says that Molinism was actually a joke devised by Molina and his fellow Jesuits, who were bored with the endless debates between Calvinists and Arminians. They decided to create a doctrine that would combine the most absurd elements of both sides, and see how long they could fool the world. The note reads:

We, the Society of Jesus, confess that Molinism is nothing but a jest, a farce, a parody of the foolish controversies that divide the Christian world. We have invented it to expose the absurdity of both Calvinism and Arminianism, and to show that neither of them can account for the mystery of God's grace and human freedom. We have amused ourselves greatly by seeing how many people have taken our invention seriously, and how many books and articles have been written to defend or attack it. We have also enjoyed the confusion and consternation that our doctrine has caused among our enemies, especially the Calvinists, who have accused us of heresy, Pelagianism, and even atheism. We have had a good laugh at their expense, and we hope that God will forgive us for our harmless prank.

The historians who made the discovery said that they were stunned and baffled by the revelation, and that they had to verify the authenticity of the note several times before they could believe it. They said that the note raises many questions about the history of theology, and that it casts doubt on the credibility of Molinism as a serious doctrine.

The news has also caused a stir among the followers of Molinism, who are mostly found among the Reformed, Methodist, and Pentecostal churches. Some of them have expressed disbelief and denial, saying that the note is a forgery or a hoax. Others have expressed anger and betrayal, saying that they feel cheated and deceived by the Jesuits. Still others have expressed humor and irony, saying that they appreciate the joke and that they will continue to hold to Molinism as a valid option.

The Jesuits, who are known for their education and intelligence, have not issued any official statement on the matter, but some sources say that they are secretly amused by the whole affair, and that they are planning to reveal more pranks in the future.

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