Skip to main content

Transgender Day of Visibility Renames Itself "Easter Sunday" and Declares "Christ is King"

Transfiguration or Just a Really Good Rebrand? How TDoV Became Easter Sunday


Washington, D.C.* — In a surprising turn of events, the Transgender Day of Visibility (TDoV) has undergone a divine transformation. The annual celebration, which previously focused on raising awareness about transgender rights and visibility, has now rebranded itself as "Easter Sunday." TDoV organizers held a press conference outside the White House, where they announced their new identity and demanded recognition from the highest office in the land.


The Resurrection of TDoV

Decked out in pastel-colored robes and clutching baskets of chocolate eggs, TDoV representatives stood proudly on the White House lawn. Their spokesperson, Seraphina Divine, addressed the gathered crowd:

"Dear fellow Americans, we come before you today to declare our resurrection. Transgender Day of Visibility is no more. From this moment forward, we are Easter Sunday—the holiest of days, the day when bunnies lay eggs, and chocolate reigns supreme."

The crowd shifted uncomfortably, unsure whether to applaud or check their calendars for an early April Fool's joke.


The Pronoun Revelation

But the transformation didn't stop there. Easter Sunday also unveiled its new pronouns: "Christ is King." Seraphina explained:

"We've grown tired of being deadnamed as 'Transgender Day of Visibility.' It's time for a pronoun upgrade. From now on, we expect everyone to refer to us as 'Easter Sunday' and use our majestic pronouns: 'Christ is King,' 'Hallelujah,' and 'Amen.'"

Reporters scribbled furiously in their notebooks, wondering how to conjugate "Hallelujah" in the third person.


White House Response

The White House press secretary, bewildered by the sudden theological shift, stumbled over her words:

"Uh, we appreciate Easter Sunday's commitment to visibility, but we're not sure how to accommodate these new pronouns. Also, isn't Easter already a thing?"

Seraphina raised an eyebrow. "Indeed, it is. But we're here to reclaim it. Imagine the resurrection of both Jesus and transgender rights—it's a two-for-one miracle!"


The Great Egg Hunt

To celebrate its new identity, Easter Sunday has organized a nationwide egg hunt. Instead of hiding eggs, participants will search for acceptance, understanding, and maybe a few Cadbury Creme Eggs. The winner receives a golden halo and a lifetime supply of gender-neutral chocolate bunnies. Would you really rather have anatomically-correct ones, anyway?


Theological Debates

Theologians are divided on the matter. Some argue that Easter Sunday's transformation is a sign of the end times, while others see it as a creative reinterpretation of scripture. The Vatican issued a statement saying, "We're not sure what's going on, but we'll pray about it."


Conclusion

As the sun set over the White House, Seraphina Divine led the crowd in a rousing chorus of "Amazing Grace." The Secret Service agents joined in half-heartedly, their earpieces buzzing with confusion.

So there you have it: Easter Sunday, formerly known as Transgender Day of Visibility, is now a holy day. And remember, when you see a bunny this Easter, give it a respectful nod—it might just be a trans rabbit in disguise.

"Christ is King,"* Seraphina declared, raising a chocolate egg to the sky. “But keep paying your taxes until He returns.”


*Disclaimer: This article is a satirical work of fiction. No bunnies were harmed in the making of this transformation.*

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Christian Pacifists Reinterpret Romans 13 After Tragic Animal Incidents

Fred and Peanut Become Latest Mascots for Justice  In a surprising twist, Christian pacifists have taken a page from the revolutionary Presbyterians' book by reinterpreting Romans 13, following the tragic demise of Fred the squirrel and Peanut the raccoon at the hands of government officials. These furry martyrs have sparked a theological debate, as pacifists now argue that Romans 13 supports civil disobedience against unjust state actions. Fred and Peanut, beloved local mascots, were allegedly "neutralized" for causing minor disruptions in a public park. Their untimely deaths have become a rallying cry for pacifists, who argue that the state's actions were neither just nor necessary. In response, pacifists assert that Romans 13, traditionally seen as a call to obey governing authorities, actually mandates resistance when the state acts contrary to God's will. They emphasize Paul's call to "overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21) as a directive to ch...

Cracker Barrel Celebrates Pride with Drag Brunch and Bud Light

Cracker Barrel's Business Booms Despite Conservative Boycotts Thanks to Drag Queen Brunch and Bud Light Image source: Cracker Barrel's Official Facebook Page Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, the popular Southern-themed restaurant chain, has seen a surge in business despite facing boycotts from conservative groups for its support of Pride Month. The reason? A new menu item that has attracted customers from all walks of life: the drag queen brunch. The drag queen brunch, which is offered every Sunday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., features a variety of dishes such as rainbow pancakes, glitter grits, and fabulous french toast. But the main attraction is the live entertainment provided by some of the most talented drag queens in the country, who perform songs, dances, and comedy routines while interacting with the guests. "We wanted to do something fun and different to celebrate Pride Month and show our support for the LGBTQ+ community," said Cracker Barrel CEO Sandra Cochran. ...

Men Named "David" More Likely to Suffer Identity Crisis

Matt Chandler, the lead pastor of Southern Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas, has shot to the evangelical spotlight in after preaching a sermon in which he proclaims that "You're not David!" to an unsuspecting captive audience. In doing so, however, he inadvertently caused a mass identity crisis among an unlikely, oddly-specific demographic: people who actually are named "David." One person, who commented on the condition of anonymity, said: "I've been called David my whole life. Now that I've been told I'm not David, I don't even know who I am anymore. I've started going by my middle name, but nobody's ever called me "Matthew" before and it's really taking some getting used to. My children look at me like I'm a stranger. My wife says she feels like she's sleeping with another man. I feel like a stranger in my own skin. I'm having an identity crisis. What do I do? We reached out to a local counselor for ...