Skip to main content

Transgender Day of Visibility Renames Itself "Easter Sunday" and Declares "Christ is King"

Transfiguration or Just a Really Good Rebrand? How TDoV Became Easter Sunday


Washington, D.C.* — In a surprising turn of events, the Transgender Day of Visibility (TDoV) has undergone a divine transformation. The annual celebration, which previously focused on raising awareness about transgender rights and visibility, has now rebranded itself as "Easter Sunday." TDoV organizers held a press conference outside the White House, where they announced their new identity and demanded recognition from the highest office in the land.


The Resurrection of TDoV

Decked out in pastel-colored robes and clutching baskets of chocolate eggs, TDoV representatives stood proudly on the White House lawn. Their spokesperson, Seraphina Divine, addressed the gathered crowd:

"Dear fellow Americans, we come before you today to declare our resurrection. Transgender Day of Visibility is no more. From this moment forward, we are Easter Sunday—the holiest of days, the day when bunnies lay eggs, and chocolate reigns supreme."

The crowd shifted uncomfortably, unsure whether to applaud or check their calendars for an early April Fool's joke.


The Pronoun Revelation

But the transformation didn't stop there. Easter Sunday also unveiled its new pronouns: "Christ is King." Seraphina explained:

"We've grown tired of being deadnamed as 'Transgender Day of Visibility.' It's time for a pronoun upgrade. From now on, we expect everyone to refer to us as 'Easter Sunday' and use our majestic pronouns: 'Christ is King,' 'Hallelujah,' and 'Amen.'"

Reporters scribbled furiously in their notebooks, wondering how to conjugate "Hallelujah" in the third person.


White House Response

The White House press secretary, bewildered by the sudden theological shift, stumbled over her words:

"Uh, we appreciate Easter Sunday's commitment to visibility, but we're not sure how to accommodate these new pronouns. Also, isn't Easter already a thing?"

Seraphina raised an eyebrow. "Indeed, it is. But we're here to reclaim it. Imagine the resurrection of both Jesus and transgender rights—it's a two-for-one miracle!"


The Great Egg Hunt

To celebrate its new identity, Easter Sunday has organized a nationwide egg hunt. Instead of hiding eggs, participants will search for acceptance, understanding, and maybe a few Cadbury Creme Eggs. The winner receives a golden halo and a lifetime supply of gender-neutral chocolate bunnies. Would you really rather have anatomically-correct ones, anyway?


Theological Debates

Theologians are divided on the matter. Some argue that Easter Sunday's transformation is a sign of the end times, while others see it as a creative reinterpretation of scripture. The Vatican issued a statement saying, "We're not sure what's going on, but we'll pray about it."


Conclusion

As the sun set over the White House, Seraphina Divine led the crowd in a rousing chorus of "Amazing Grace." The Secret Service agents joined in half-heartedly, their earpieces buzzing with confusion.

So there you have it: Easter Sunday, formerly known as Transgender Day of Visibility, is now a holy day. And remember, when you see a bunny this Easter, give it a respectful nod—it might just be a trans rabbit in disguise.

"Christ is King,"* Seraphina declared, raising a chocolate egg to the sky. “But keep paying your taxes until He returns.”


*Disclaimer: This article is a satirical work of fiction. No bunnies were harmed in the making of this transformation.*

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Border Patrol Sends Steven Anderson to Armenia Over Misunderstanding

When Your Theological Flex Gets Lost in Translation Original image is Public Domain, courtesy of the United States Department of Homeland Security BORDER PATROL CHECKPOINT, AZ - In a bizarre twist of theological proportions, Pastor Steven Anderson's latest encounter with Border Patrol agents took an unexpected turn when he attempted to evangelize his way through a routine checkpoint. When asked about his citizenship, Anderson reportedly launched into an impromptu sermon, declaring, "I'm a citizen of Heaven, brother! Let me tell you about the Good News!" As the bemused agent tried to detain him, Anderson proclaimed, "You can't detain me! I'm free to believe because I'm Arminian!" The agent, mishearing the theological term, immediately sprang into action, shouting, "Armenian? We've got ourselves an illegal!" Chaos ensued as agents attempted to deport the protesting pastor to Armenia. "I said Arminian, not Armenian!" Anderson...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pastor Jane's Inappropriate Relationships Spark Cheers of 'Yaaaaasss Queen' Amidst Ecclesiastical Double Standards

Breaking the Stained-Glass Ceiling: Pastor Jane's Scandalous Path to Feminist Icon Status In a groundbreaking moment for ecclesiastical equality, Pastor Jane Doe has become a beacon of feminist empowerment after being caught in a series of inappropriate relationships with male congregants. Her actions have sparked a wave of support, with many hailing her as a "Yaaaaasss Queen" for shattering the stained-glass ceiling. While male pastors have historically faced defrocking for similar indiscretions, Pastor Jane's case has been celebrated as a triumph of modern feminism. "Why should men have all the fun?" quipped one supporter, highlighting the double standards that have long plagued religious institutions. Critics, however, point to biblical texts that traditionally restrict the role of pastor to men and suggest women should remain silent in church. Yet, Pastor Jane's followers argue that these interpretations are outdated and patriarchal. "If she can...
Post a Comment
Read more

Once Judeo-Christian Nation Watches Debate To Determine Which Immoral Reprobate Best Qualified to Lead

Nation’s Moral Compass Goes Haywire, Formally Resigns Following Debate Philadelphia - In a spectacle that could only be described as a divine comedy, the nation once hailed as a "Judeo-Christian" nation gathered to watch the presidential debate, eager to determine which immoral reprobate would best lead them forward. The candidates, both seasoned in the art of moral ambiguity, took the stage with the confidence of televangelists at a Sunday sermon.   As the candidates took the stage, the audience was treated to a spectacle reminiscent of a reality show, complete with mudslinging and moral gymnastics that would make even the most seasoned circus performer blush. One candidate, known for his "alternative facts," argued passionately that he had the best rallies in the history of political rallies, while another claimed to be “unburdened by the past” [but still current] administration’s numerous international scandals and blunders, promising that to fix everything she h...
Post a Comment
Read more