Leighton Flowers Finds Demon in Calvin Portrait

Satanic Portraits Causing Stir Among Theologians

PHOENIX, AZ - The art world was rocked this week by claims that a recently unveiled portrait of King Charles III contains hidden demonic imagery. But that's not all - a prominent theologian is now alleging that a similar satanic phenomenon can be observed in historical portraits of Protestant reformer John Calvin.

The royal portrait by artist Lucian Freud has been criticized for appearing to show a faint demonic figure lurking behind the King's left shoulder when the image is digitally edited and manipulated. Buckingham Palace has dismissed the claims as "mischievous nonsense."

However, Leighton Flowers, director of the anti-Calvinist ministry "Soteriology 101," has taken things a step further. At a press conference yesterday, Flowers presented an analysis that he claims proves Calvin's own portrait contains hidden "doctrine of demons" messaging.

"If you take an image of Calvin's famous portrait by Hans Holbein, crop it down to just his face, mirror it horizontally, spin it 37 degrees counter-clockwise, and apply a 'demonic' filter in Photoshop, you can clearly see the words 'doctrine of demons' appearing in Calvin's eyes and forehead wrinkles," Flowers stated gravely.

He continued, "This shocking discovery confirms the diabolical nature of Calvin's teachings on predestination and limited atonement. Clearly, even in the 16th century, there were sinister forces at work attempting to corrupt the truth of God's universal love and desire to save every single person."

Flowers' ministry has started a GoFundMe campaign to hire digital forensics experts and art historians to further examine other Reformation-era portraits for similar alleged occult imagery.

Art critics have pushed back, however, claiming that finding patterns and hidden messages through such extreme digital manipulation is simply a form of pareidolia - the human tendency to perceive recognizable shapes in random visual data.

"You can make the Mona Lisa look like she's flashing a gang sign if you edit it enough," remarked one exasperated art blogger. "At some point, we need to draw the line between legitimate critique and giving too much credence to bizarre conspiracy theories."

In the meantime, both the royal portrait and Calvin's iconic image remain on display, allowing viewers to decide for themselves whether they detect any hidden demonic undertones. As the saying goes, "One man's satanic portrait is another man's theological Rorschach test."

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