Pride: Remembering Sodom & Gomorrah

Sodom and Gomorrah: The Original Pride Parade Gone Wrong

As the calendar turns to June, rainbow flags and glitter will soon blanket city streets worldwide to celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride Month. But before you head out to party, let's take a moment to reflect on the very first recorded Pride parade that didn't go quite as planned - the ill-fated cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

For those rusty on their biblical history, Sodom and Gomorrah were neighboring municipalities around the Dead Sea renowned for their hospitality and...other proclivities. When two angels visited the cities incognito, the residents rolled out the welcome mat in a manner that would make modern swingers blush.

Lot, a seemingly chill dude who just wanted to mind his own business, tried to protect the angels from the amorous townsfolk. But despite his pleas to "not act wickedly," the cities' citizens continued to pursue their unconventional interests with gusto befitting their reputation as the original hot spots for cosmopolitan debauchery.

Unsurprisingly, the angels were less than thrilled with the aggressive community outreach. Dropping their disguises, they warned Lot to grab his family and evacuate promptly before calling in an airstrike of divine sulfur and flames from above. A real scorcher of a Pride celebration, if you will.

As billows of smoke rose from the smoldering remains, Lot's wife couldn't resist a final, fatal glance back at the bacchanalia she was leaving behind. A tragic end, but an important reminder of the dangers of rubbernecking and indulging one's vices to excess.

So let's raise a glass of frosty, salty water this June to Sodom and Gomorrah - the original Pride parties that were so hot, they're still smoldering underground. A legendary legacy that taught the world to celebrate in moderation and keep that wicked behavior behind closed doors where it belongs.

Happy Pride, folks! But remember, if two strangers show up unexpectedly, keep things PG. We don't need a repeat of ancient Mesopotamian history.

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