Skip to main content

Breaking News: Devil Named Running Mate in Shocking Political Move!

The Devil You Know Versus the Devil You Don’t




In a stunning turn of events, the presidential nominee from the Opposing Party (you know which one) has officially chosen none other than the Devil himself as their running mate. 


"The Ultimate Power Couple"


Sources say the decision was made after a heated debate over who could bring the most "fire" to the campaign. When asked about the choice, the nominee stated, "Who better to help us navigate the hellish landscape of modern politics than someone who literally knows the ins and outs of the underworld?"


Campaign Promises on Fire


The campaign slogan, "Vote for Us, or Else!" has already sparked controversy, while the Devil promises to "bring the heat" on key issues like climate change and economic inequality. 


Voter Reactions: Divided Opinions


Voters are split on this bold choice. Some supporters are thrilled, claiming that the Devil’s charm and charisma will be a game-changer. “He’s not that bad!” one enthusiastic voter declared. “Have you seen how he appears as an angel of light? He’s practically a PR genius!”


However, skeptics are raising eyebrows, questioning whether this is just a clever disguise for a more sinister agenda. “I mean, can we really trust someone who has a history of fiery negotiations?” another voter lamented.


The Devil's Defense


In his first campaign appearance, the Devil addressed the concerns directly, stating, “I’m just here to shed some light on the issues. Besides, who hasn’t made a few questionable deals in their career?”


Stay tuned as this fiery campaign heats up, and remember: when it comes to politics, sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cracker Barrel Celebrates Pride with Drag Brunch and Bud Light

Cracker Barrel's Business Booms Despite Conservative Boycotts Thanks to Drag Queen Brunch and Bud Light Image source: Cracker Barrel's Official Facebook Page Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, the popular Southern-themed restaurant chain, has seen a surge in business despite facing boycotts from conservative groups for its support of Pride Month. The reason? A new menu item that has attracted customers from all walks of life: the drag queen brunch. The drag queen brunch, which is offered every Sunday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., features a variety of dishes such as rainbow pancakes, glitter grits, and fabulous french toast. But the main attraction is the live entertainment provided by some of the most talented drag queens in the country, who perform songs, dances, and comedy routines while interacting with the guests. "We wanted to do something fun and different to celebrate Pride Month and show our support for the LGBTQ+ community," said Cracker Barrel CEO Sandra Cochran. ...

To Protect Last Political Allies from Trump, Biden Pardons Pilate, the Sanhedrin

Critics Say Presidential Clemency 2,000 Years Too Late In a shocking twist of historical revisionism, President Biden has issued a last-minute presidential pardon for Pontius Pilate and the Sanhedrin, effectively settling a 2,000-year-old legal dispute. The unprecedented move comes as Biden clears his presidential desk, seemingly determined to resolve theological legal matters that have been pending since the first century. "Sometimes, you've got to wash your hands of ancient history—literally," Biden reportedly quipped, making a clear reference to Pilate's infamous hand-washing gesture. The pardon documents hilariously cite "administrative oversight" and "bureaucratic complications" as primary reasons for the belated legal clemency. Religious scholars and historians are bewildered, with one anonymous theologian remarking, "Well, that's one way to end a presidency—by retroactively solving a crucifixion controversy." The White House pr...

Epstein's List: A Convenient Distraction

Jesus is King, but the Devil is in the Details In a shocking twist of events, the infamous list of names associated with the late Jeffrey Epstein's sex trafficking ring has been leaked to the public. The list, which contains hundreds of prominent figures from politics, entertainment, business, and sports, has sparked outrage and scandal across the world. However, some experts believe that the release of the list is not a coincidence, but a deliberate attempt to divert attention from the real news: Jesus is king.  According to Dr. Michael Brown, a professor of theology at Harvard University, the list is part of a "satanic conspiracy" to undermine the faith of Christians and distract them from the second coming of Christ. "Jesus is king. He is alive and he is coming back soon. That is the most important news that anyone should care about," Dr. Brown said. "But the devil knows that, and he is using the list to create chaos and confusion among the people of Go...