LBCF Identifies as Reformed, Claims Controversial Victory Against WCF

1689 LBCF Faces 1647 WCF in Controversial Reformed Bout

In a shocking turn of events at the 2024 Theological Olympics, the 1689 London Baptist Confession of Faith (LBCF) has claimed a controversial victory over the 1647 Westminster Confession of Faith (WCF) in the hotly contested "Reformed Heavyweight" division. Spectators were left bewildered as the LBCF, despite its questionable Reformed credentials, managed to secure the win not through theological prowess, but through sheer popularity.

The LBCF, representing the Baptist corner, entered the theological arena with a swagger that belied its historically precarious position in Reformed circles. Its opponent, the venerable WCF, stood firm with centuries of Reformed tradition behind it. As the bell rang, onlookers expected a fierce debate on covenant theology and sacraments. Instead, they witnessed a surprising shift in judging criteria.

The LBCF's victory, it turns out, was largely due to the overwhelming presence of Baptist believers in modern Western society. "It's like watching a popularity contest disguised as a theological debate," remarked one confused Reformed scholar in the audience.

Despite protests from the WCF's corner about the LBCF's departure from traditional Reformed positions, particularly on baptism and church governance, the judges - an independent, non-denominational council - seemed swayed by the LBCF's widespread appeal among contemporary Christians.

As the LBCF celebrated its win, mutters of "not really Reformed" could be heard from the traditionalist crowd. The WCF's team has filed a formal complaint, arguing that popularity shouldn't trump theological consistency in a Reformed competition.

Adding to the controversy, Baptist representatives insist they're different from the Anabaptists banned by earlier Reformed councils. "We're not those guys," claimed one Baptist theologian, "We just happen to agree with them on baptism... and church structure... and a few other things."

The independent council defending their decision stated, "While the WCF may have more Reformed street cred, the LBCF has more followers on social media. In today's world, that's what really counts."

This unexpected outcome has sent shockwaves through the Reformed community, with many questioning the validity of a "Reformed" title won through popular appeal rather than theological alignment. As one Puritan-costume-wearing spectator put it, "I fear Calvin is rolling in his grave, and not just because he's uncomfortable with the idea of saints' relics."