Taylor Swift Endorses Arminius Over Calvin

"Haters Gonna Love Less, Less, Less, Less…”

In a surprising twist, pop icon Taylor Swift has thrown her support behind 17th-century theologian Jacobus Arminius over John Calvin, citing her desire for the freedom to make bad decisions. "Arminius fights for free will," Swift declared, "and I need that freedom to write songs about all my bad choices without predestination hanging over me!"

Swift's endorsement has sent shockwaves through theological circles, with many Calvinists questioning her grasp of the TULIP doctrine. Meanwhile, Arminians are thrilled, hoping Swift's influence will bring a renewed interest in theological debates.

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