Skip to main content

Former President Declares War on Non-Denominationalism—“It’s Like Ordering a Burger Without the Meat!”

Trump’s Theological Takedown: Calvinism vs. The Liberal “Normal”



In a surprising turn, Donald Trump took to Joe Rogan's podcast to champion Calvinism, drawing parallels between his political battles and theological debates. "Calvinism is tremendous," Trump declared, likening predestination to his political victories—inevitable and ordained. "Just like I defend Christian values from the radical left, I'm here to protect Calvinism from the fake news of theological liberals."


Rogan, intrigued, asked about non-denominationalism. Trump dismissed it as "the so-called 'normal Christianity'—a watered-down version pushed by liberals trying to change the narrative."


He continued, "These theological liberals want to make everything non-denominational, like a bland soup where everyone picks their own beliefs. But real Christianity has structure and order, just like my administration."


Trump's defense of Calvinism resonated with his evangelical supporters, who see him as a defender of traditional Christian values against modern reinterpretations. "The left wants to tear down crosses and rewrite theology," Trump warned. “They believe in free will—like anyone can just walk into greatness without being chosen first. It’s chaos, Joe, absolute chaos. But under my leadership, we won't let them redefine what true Christianity is."


The interview left theologians puzzled and comedy writers entertained, as Trump's unique take on religious debates added a new layer of humor to the podcast world.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pastor Jane's Inappropriate Relationships Spark Cheers of 'Yaaaaasss Queen' Amidst Ecclesiastical Double Standards

Breaking the Stained-Glass Ceiling: Pastor Jane's Scandalous Path to Feminist Icon Status In a groundbreaking moment for ecclesiastical equality, Pastor Jane Doe has become a beacon of feminist empowerment after being caught in a series of inappropriate relationships with male congregants. Her actions have sparked a wave of support, with many hailing her as a "Yaaaaasss Queen" for shattering the stained-glass ceiling. While male pastors have historically faced defrocking for similar indiscretions, Pastor Jane's case has been celebrated as a triumph of modern feminism. "Why should men have all the fun?" quipped one supporter, highlighting the double standards that have long plagued religious institutions. Critics, however, point to biblical texts that traditionally restrict the role of pastor to men and suggest women should remain silent in church. Yet, Pastor Jane's followers argue that these interpretations are outdated and patriarchal. "If she can...

Once Judeo-Christian Nation Watches Debate To Determine Which Immoral Reprobate Best Qualified to Lead

Nation’s Moral Compass Goes Haywire, Formally Resigns Following Debate Philadelphia - In a spectacle that could only be described as a divine comedy, the nation once hailed as a "Judeo-Christian" nation gathered to watch the presidential debate, eager to determine which immoral reprobate would best lead them forward. The candidates, both seasoned in the art of moral ambiguity, took the stage with the confidence of televangelists at a Sunday sermon.   As the candidates took the stage, the audience was treated to a spectacle reminiscent of a reality show, complete with mudslinging and moral gymnastics that would make even the most seasoned circus performer blush. One candidate, known for his "alternative facts," argued passionately that he had the best rallies in the history of political rallies, while another claimed to be “unburdened by the past” [but still current] administration’s numerous international scandals and blunders, promising that to fix everything she h...

Martin Luther’s Surprising Opening at the Diet of Worms: “I Grew Up In A Middle Class Family”

What He Could Be (Protestant), Unburdened By What Has Been (Rome) Worms, 1521 – Newly uncovered manuscripts reveal that Martin Luther's famous speech at the Diet of Worms began with an unexpected twist: "Let me start by saying that I grew up in a middle-class family." Luther's opening left the audience puzzled but intrigued. He quickly transitioned to his main argument, maintaining the fiery rhetoric we know today. "Here I stand, I can do no other," he declared, seamlessly blending his personal story with his defiance against the Church. Historians now see Luther's relatable approach as a clever tactic to connect with the common people. "By sharing his humble beginnings, Luther made his revolutionary ideas more accessible," said Dr. Hans Wurst, a Reformation scholar. As we commemorate the Diet of Worms, let's remember Luther not just as a reformer, but as a middle-class hero who knew how to captivate a crowd.