Skip to main content

Former President Declares War on Non-Denominationalism—“It’s Like Ordering a Burger Without the Meat!”

Trump’s Theological Takedown: Calvinism vs. The Liberal “Normal”



In a surprising turn, Donald Trump took to Joe Rogan's podcast to champion Calvinism, drawing parallels between his political battles and theological debates. "Calvinism is tremendous," Trump declared, likening predestination to his political victories—inevitable and ordained. "Just like I defend Christian values from the radical left, I'm here to protect Calvinism from the fake news of theological liberals."


Rogan, intrigued, asked about non-denominationalism. Trump dismissed it as "the so-called 'normal Christianity'—a watered-down version pushed by liberals trying to change the narrative."


He continued, "These theological liberals want to make everything non-denominational, like a bland soup where everyone picks their own beliefs. But real Christianity has structure and order, just like my administration."


Trump's defense of Calvinism resonated with his evangelical supporters, who see him as a defender of traditional Christian values against modern reinterpretations. "The left wants to tear down crosses and rewrite theology," Trump warned. “They believe in free will—like anyone can just walk into greatness without being chosen first. It’s chaos, Joe, absolute chaos. But under my leadership, we won't let them redefine what true Christianity is."


The interview left theologians puzzled and comedy writers entertained, as Trump's unique take on religious debates added a new layer of humor to the podcast world.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cracker Barrel Celebrates Pride with Drag Brunch and Bud Light

Cracker Barrel's Business Booms Despite Conservative Boycotts Thanks to Drag Queen Brunch and Bud Light Image source: Cracker Barrel's Official Facebook Page Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, the popular Southern-themed restaurant chain, has seen a surge in business despite facing boycotts from conservative groups for its support of Pride Month. The reason? A new menu item that has attracted customers from all walks of life: the drag queen brunch. The drag queen brunch, which is offered every Sunday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., features a variety of dishes such as rainbow pancakes, glitter grits, and fabulous french toast. But the main attraction is the live entertainment provided by some of the most talented drag queens in the country, who perform songs, dances, and comedy routines while interacting with the guests. "We wanted to do something fun and different to celebrate Pride Month and show our support for the LGBTQ+ community," said Cracker Barrel CEO Sandra Cochran. ...

Epstein's List: A Convenient Distraction

Jesus is King, but the Devil is in the Details In a shocking twist of events, the infamous list of names associated with the late Jeffrey Epstein's sex trafficking ring has been leaked to the public. The list, which contains hundreds of prominent figures from politics, entertainment, business, and sports, has sparked outrage and scandal across the world. However, some experts believe that the release of the list is not a coincidence, but a deliberate attempt to divert attention from the real news: Jesus is king.  According to Dr. Michael Brown, a professor of theology at Harvard University, the list is part of a "satanic conspiracy" to undermine the faith of Christians and distract them from the second coming of Christ. "Jesus is king. He is alive and he is coming back soon. That is the most important news that anyone should care about," Dr. Brown said. "But the devil knows that, and he is using the list to create chaos and confusion among the people of Go...

Pride: Remembering Sodom & Gomorrah

Sodom and Gomorrah: The Original Pride Parade Gone Wrong As the calendar turns to June, rainbow flags and glitter will soon blanket city streets worldwide to celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride Month. But before you head out to party, let's take a moment to reflect on the very first recorded Pride parade that didn't go quite as planned - the ill-fated cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. For those rusty on their biblical history, Sodom and Gomorrah were neighboring municipalities around the Dead Sea renowned for their hospitality and...other proclivities. When two angels visited the cities incognito, the residents rolled out the welcome mat in a manner that would make modern swingers blush.  Lot, a seemingly chill dude who just wanted to mind his own business, tried to protect the angels from the amorous townsfolk. But despite his pleas to "not act wickedly," the cities' citizens continued to pursue their unconventional interests with gusto befitting their reputation as the original ...