Trump Bans Little Drummer Boy from Christmas Playlists

“No Kid with a Drum Near a Sleeping Baby!” Says Former President, Igniting Holiday Controversy

In a shocking holiday announcement, Donald Trump declared he would "absolutely remove that little drummer boy from every Christmas playlist" because "no one wants a kid banging a drum near a sleeping baby!"

Trump added, “I mean, what kind of gift is that? A drum? I’ve seen better gifts from my golf buddies. Everyone knows babies need peace, not a percussion concert!”

He further insisted, “If I were Mary, I’d say, ‘Get that kid outta here!’ It’s Christmas, not a rock concert!” This bold move has left many wondering if the season's spirit can survive without the rhythmic charm of the beloved carol.

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Piper Rebukes Driscoll, Defends Stripper Sword-Swallower

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