Christianese: A Dying Language of a Vanishing Tribe

Christianese, also known as Christianeze, is a dialect of English that is spoken by a dwindling minority of North Americans who identify themselves as Conservative Christians. The dialect is characterized by the use of specialized terms and jargon that are derived from the Bible, theology, and church culture, and that are often incomprehensible to outsiders.

According to linguists, Christianese is an endangered language that is facing extinction due to several factors, such as the decline of church attendance, the rise of secularism, and the influence of mainstream media and pop culture. Some estimate that there are only a few million speakers left in the United States and Canada, mostly concentrated in rural areas and the Bible Belt.

However, there is a growing interest in Christianese among scholars and students who want to learn more about this obscure and fascinating language. Several universities across the country have started offering courses and programs in Christianese studies, where students can learn the grammar, vocabulary, and history of the dialect, as well as its cultural and religious significance.

One such program is offered by the University of California, Berkeley, where Professor Jane Smith teaches an introductory course on Christianese. She says that her students are mostly curious and open-minded learners who want to explore a different worldview and perspective.

"Some of them are atheists or agnostics who want to challenge themselves and understand how Conservative Christians think and communicate. Some of them are from other faiths or backgrounds who want to learn more about Christianity and its diversity. And some of them are former or lapsed Christians who want to reconnect with their roots or critique their upbringing," she says.

Smith says that her course covers topics such as the origin and evolution of Christianese, its regional and denominational variations, its rhetorical and literary devices, and its social and political implications. She also teaches her students how to speak and write in Christianese, using authentic texts and audio recordings from various sources.

For example, one of her assignments requires students to translate a passage from the King James Version of the Bible into modern English, and then back into Christianese. Another assignment asks students to write a satirical article or a parody song using Christianese expressions and humor.

Some of the common phrases and terms that Smith teaches her students include:

- "If it be God's will": A way of expressing doubt or uncertainty about something.

- "Let's have a word of prayer": A way of announcing a long and tedious prayer session.

- "That's not my spiritual gift": A way of refusing to do something or delegating responsibility to someone else.

- "Fellowship": A euphemism for organized gluttony or socializing.

- "The Lord works in mysterious ways": A way of admitting ignorance or avoiding explanation.

- "Lord willing": A way of making vague or non-committal plans.

- "I'll pray about it":  A gentle way of declining an invitation in situations such as being asked to volunteer, make a donation, or go on a date.

- "I don't feel led": A way of expressing personal preference or opinion as divine guidance.

- "God led me to do something else": A way of justifying laziness or disobedience.

- "God really helped me with this test / game": A way of taking credit for luck or cheating.

- "She has such a sweet spirit": A way of insulting someone's intelligence or competence.

- "I have a 'check' in my spirit about him": A way of expressing dislike or distrust for someone.

- "I'll be praying for you": A way of dismissing someone's problem or concern.

- "Prayer concerns": A way of spreading gossip or rumors under the guise of intercession.

- "In conclusion": A way of signaling that the speaker is far from finishing their speech or sermon.

- "Let us pray": A way of preaching at someone instead of talking to God.

- "I'm just dating Jesus right now": He/she just isn't into you.

- "Maranatha": A way of expressing disappointment or discontentment in a situation or life in general.

- "You don't believe the Bible / You're calling God a liar": A way of dismissing another person's interpretation or opinion on a theological point.

Smith says that her students often find Christianese amusing and intriguing, but also confusing and alienating. She says that learning Christianese helps them develop critical thinking skills, cross-cultural awareness, and empathy for others.

"Christianese is not just a language, it's a window into a different world. It reveals a lot about the beliefs, values, and experiences of Conservative Christians, as well as their hopes, fears, and challenges. By learning Christianese, we can better understand ourselves and others, and hopefully bridge some gaps and foster some dialogue," she says.

Smith hopes that her course will inspire more people to learn about Christianese and appreciate its richness and diversity. She also hopes that it will encourage more speakers of Christianese to reflect on their own language use and how it affects their communication with people of different faiths, or what they sometimes describe as "heathens."

Sources:

(1) Christianese - Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianese.

(2) 17 Phrases That Indicate You’re Fluent in Christianese. https://goodfaithmedia.org/17-phrases-that-indicate-youre-fluent-in-christianese-cms-24677/.