Skip to main content

Pope Proposes Transportation Tax to Pave Religious Pathways

Who Needs a Narrow Gate When You Can Have a Four-Lane Highway to Hell Heaven?




In a surprising twist following his recent statement that "all religions are paths to God," Pope Francis has suggested a new initiative: paving these spiritual pathways into wide roads. The pontiff, known for his progressive views, proposed a "Transportation Tax" to fund the project, aiming to make these celestial routes more accessible and less congested.


"Why walk when you can drive?" quipped the Pope during an interfaith meeting in Singapore. "If all religions are paths, let's make them highways!"


The proposal has sparked both amusement and bewilderment among religious leaders worldwide. Some have embraced the idea, envisioning toll booths manned by monks and nuns, while others worry about the environmental impact of paving paradise.


Critics argue that the Pope's plan is a slippery slope, potentially leading to traffic jams in the afterlife. "We don't need road rage on the way to salvation," commented one concerned bishop. Others have noted the irony in the call to widen these roads, given Jesus' warning, that "...broad is the way that leads to destruction."


Despite the controversy, the Vatican is reportedly in talks with major construction firms and GPS companies to ensure smooth navigation across religious terrains. As one cardinal put it, "We're not just building roads; we're building bridges between faiths—literally!"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Piper Rebukes Driscoll, Defends Stripper Sword-Swallower

Piper Defends Male Strippers from Driscoll, Says Faith is "Erotic to the Core" MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In a surprising turn of events, prominent evangelical leader John Piper has come out in defense of male strippers, arguing that their profession is a valid expression of Christian spirituality. The controversy began when fellow pastor Mark Driscoll condemned male strippers as "ungodly" and "a threat to the moral fabric of society." Driscoll's comments sparked outrage among some in the Christian community, including Piper, who quickly rushed to the defense of the much-maligned exotic dancers. "Mark Driscoll clearly has a very narrow and repressed view of human sexuality," Piper told reporters. "As I've said many times, the Christian faith is erotic to the core. God created us as sexual beings, and that includes the male stripper." Piper went on to cite the "Song of Songs" as biblical evidence that God delights in human sensu

Opinion: How to Win Any Theological Argument With One Simple Phrase

The Ultimate Guide to Dispensational Defense: How to Defend Your Faith and Confuse Your Critics Quickly and Efficiently Are you tired of losing arguments with your fellow Christians over eschatology, hermeneutics, or covenant theology? Do you wish you had a foolproof way to silence your opponents and prove your superior understanding of the Bible? Well, look no further than this one simple phrase: "You don't understand dispensationalism." That's right, with this magic phrase, you can win any theological debate in seconds. Here's how it works: - Step 1: Identify your opponent's position and label it as non-dispensational. It doesn't matter if they are amillennial, postmillennial, covenantal, or even dispensational themselves. Just say they are not. - Step 2: Assert that their position is based on a faulty interpretation of Scripture that ignores the literal, grammatical-historical method and the distinction between Israel and the church. - Step 3: When they

Christian Man Denounces All Holidays as Pagan, Celebrates Nothing

Even the Calendar Comes From Pagans, Man Declares A Christian man from San Diego, California, has declared that he will not celebrate any holiday, not even his own birthday, because they are all pagan and sinful. John Bradfield, 45, says he has been studying the Bible and history for years and has come to the conclusion that every holiday is an abomination in the eyes of God. "I don't celebrate Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, or any other holiday,"  Bradfield  said. "They are all based on pagan traditions and rituals that have nothing to do with Christianity. They are all corrupted by Satan and his minions. Even my birthday is pagan, because it's based on the solar calendar, which was invented by pagans. I only follow the biblical calendar, which is based on the lunar cycles." Bradfield says he spends his days reading the Bible, praying, and preaching to others about the evils of holidays. He says he has no friends or family,