Skip to main content

Pope Proposes Transportation Tax to Pave Religious Pathways

Who Needs a Narrow Gate When You Can Have a Four-Lane Highway to Hell Heaven?




In a surprising twist following his recent statement that "all religions are paths to God," Pope Francis has suggested a new initiative: paving these spiritual pathways into wide roads. The pontiff, known for his progressive views, proposed a "Transportation Tax" to fund the project, aiming to make these celestial routes more accessible and less congested.


"Why walk when you can drive?" quipped the Pope during an interfaith meeting in Singapore. "If all religions are paths, let's make them highways!"


The proposal has sparked both amusement and bewilderment among religious leaders worldwide. Some have embraced the idea, envisioning toll booths manned by monks and nuns, while others worry about the environmental impact of paving paradise.


Critics argue that the Pope's plan is a slippery slope, potentially leading to traffic jams in the afterlife. "We don't need road rage on the way to salvation," commented one concerned bishop. Others have noted the irony in the call to widen these roads, given Jesus' warning, that "...broad is the way that leads to destruction."


Despite the controversy, the Vatican is reportedly in talks with major construction firms and GPS companies to ensure smooth navigation across religious terrains. As one cardinal put it, "We're not just building roads; we're building bridges between faiths—literally!"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Martin Luther’s Surprising Opening at the Diet of Worms: “I Grew Up In A Middle Class Family”

What He Could Be (Protestant), Unburdened By What Has Been (Rome) Worms, 1521 – Newly uncovered manuscripts reveal that Martin Luther's famous speech at the Diet of Worms began with an unexpected twist: "Let me start by saying that I grew up in a middle-class family." Luther's opening left the audience puzzled but intrigued. He quickly transitioned to his main argument, maintaining the fiery rhetoric we know today. "Here I stand, I can do no other," he declared, seamlessly blending his personal story with his defiance against the Church. Historians now see Luther's relatable approach as a clever tactic to connect with the common people. "By sharing his humble beginnings, Luther made his revolutionary ideas more accessible," said Dr. Hans Wurst, a Reformation scholar. As we commemorate the Diet of Worms, let's remember Luther not just as a reformer, but as a middle-class hero who knew how to captivate a crowd.

Christian Pacifists Reinterpret Romans 13 After Tragic Animal Incidents

Fred and Peanut Become Latest Mascots for Justice  In a surprising twist, Christian pacifists have taken a page from the revolutionary Presbyterians' book by reinterpreting Romans 13, following the tragic demise of Fred the squirrel and Peanut the raccoon at the hands of government officials. These furry martyrs have sparked a theological debate, as pacifists now argue that Romans 13 supports civil disobedience against unjust state actions. Fred and Peanut, beloved local mascots, were allegedly "neutralized" for causing minor disruptions in a public park. Their untimely deaths have become a rallying cry for pacifists, who argue that the state's actions were neither just nor necessary. In response, pacifists assert that Romans 13, traditionally seen as a call to obey governing authorities, actually mandates resistance when the state acts contrary to God's will. They emphasize Paul's call to "overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21) as a directive to ch...

Satanists Boycott Halloween, Claim It's a Christian Holiday

Satanists Say No to Halloween, Yes to Satan: How a Religious Minority Is Challenging the Status Quo A group of satanists has announced that they will not be celebrating Halloween this year, citing religious reasons. The group, which calls itself the Church of Satan, said that Halloween is actually a Christian holiday that has been corrupted by commercialism and paganism. "Halloween is derived from All Hallows' Eve, the eve of the Christian feast of All Saints' Day," said a spokesperson for the Church of Satan. "It is a time when Christians honor their dead and pray for their souls. We, as satanists, do not believe in such superstitions and do not want to participate in this mockery of our faith." The spokesperson added that Halloween also promotes witchcraft, ghosts, vampires, zombies, and other supernatural creatures that have nothing to do with satanism. "We are not interested in dressing up as fictional characters or begging for candy from strangers....