Liberal Christian Enraged After Being Told: “Your Soul, God’s Choice”

Woman Considers Trading in Handmaid’s Tale Costume for Puritan Outfit

In a surprising turn of events, local liberal Christian, Emily Harmon, found herself in a heated theological debate after a chance encounter with Calvinist theologian, Dr. John Predestine. The conversation took an unexpected twist when Dr. Predestine casually remarked, “Your soul, God’s choice,” leaving Emily both flabbergasted and fashionably flustered.

“I was just trying to enjoy my fair-trade latte,” Emily recounted, “when this guy starts talking about predestination like it’s the latest Netflix series. I mean, who does that?”

The comment has sparked an identity crisis for Emily, who is now considering trading in her cherished “Handmaid’s Tale” costume for something more… Puritanical. “I never thought I’d say this, but maybe bonnets are the new protest symbol,” she mused while browsing online for historically accurate Puritan attire.

In response to the incident, Emily has organized a protest march titled “My Soul, My Choice,” where participants are encouraged to don their most ironic religious garb. “It’s not just about the clothes,” she explained. “It’s about making a statement that even God doesn’t get to choose my wardrobe.”

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