Seminary Student Lays In Wait For Missionaries, Finally Gets To Use His John 1:1 Notes

 Local man had prepared 47 arguments, 19 loaded questions, three Greek word studies, and a laminated chart titled “Why You Are Wrong,” but had not prepared to answer the door before noon.

SPRINGFIELD, USA — Seminary student Nathaniel Briggs spent Saturday afternoon crouched behind the curtains of his parents’ living room, waiting for Jehovah’s Witnesses or Latter-day Saint missionaries to knock on the door.

“I’m not looking for a fight,” said Briggs, holding a Bible, three theology books, and a laminated diagram of the Trinity. “I simply want to ask a few sincere questions, beginning with, ‘Can you explain why your entire theological system collapses under John 1:1?’”

Jehovah’s Witnesses have a longstanding door-to-door ministry, while missionary work remains central to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Briggs said he admired their zeal, especially because it meant they might eventually provide him with a captive audience.

When two missionaries finally approached the house, Briggs motioned urgently for his mother not to answer.

“Let them knock twice,” he whispered. “I want them to know this is providential.”

He opened the door with the calm confidence of a man who had watched twelve apologetics debates at 1.5 speed.

“Hello,” one missionary began. “We’re sharing a message about Jesus Christ.”

“Excellent,” Briggs replied. “Before we begin, would you say your Christology survives the Nicene Creed, the Chalcedonian Definition, and this 38-slide presentation I made during my Greek homework?”

The missionaries reportedly stood on the porch for 31 minutes as Briggs explained the Trinity, covenant theology, several early-church controversies, and a disagreement neither missionary had mentioned.

When they finally thanked him and walked away, Briggs watched them head toward a neighbor’s house where an elderly woman had offered them water.

“They left very challenged,” he said. “The younger one nodded several times.”

At press time, Briggs had returned to the window to await his next evangelistic opportunity, while his father carried a leaking bag of mulch past him and asked whether he planned to defend the doctrine of manual labor anytime soon.