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Father Warns Children Against Skillet’s ‘Monster,’ Accidentally Explains Doctrine Of Indwelling Sin

Teenager says he understood the song better after dad’s 40-minute lecture against listening to it.





OAKDALE, USA — Local Christian parents Mark and Sarah Wilkins banned Skillet’s song “Monster” from the family car this week after learning that the track’s central theme involves the believer’s struggle against sin and the old self.

“I had assumed it was merely loud,” Mark Wilkins said. “But then someone told me it is about the inner battle against the sinful nature. That is far too intense for our children.”

Skillet is a Christian rock band, and frontman John Cooper has recently argued that hard-rock music is not inherently demonic simply because of its genre or sound.  The Wilkinses said this was exactly the sort of distinction they preferred not to make.

“Scripture may talk about putting sin to death, resisting temptation, and waging spiritual war,” Mark said. “But it does not use electric guitars, so we feel safer if those ideas are communicated only through a gentle acoustic song that no teenager will ever voluntarily hear.”

The family’s 14-year-old son, Caleb, attempted to explain that the song’s “monster” language refers to the struggle with one’s sinful impulses.

“That is what concerns us,” Sarah replied. “We do not want you dwelling on the possibility that you have sin to fight. We would rather you grow up thinking the main spiritual danger is accidentally enjoying a snare drum.”

The parents then reviewed their children’s approved entertainment list, which includes several action films, professional sports broadcasts, and a video game in which a man drives a truck off a cliff while yelling.

“We are not opposed to intensity,” Mark explained. “We are opposed to intensity that makes moral claims in a musical genre we do not personally enjoy.”

At press time, the Wilkins family had replaced the Skillet playlist with a soft instrumental album titled Background Music For Avoiding Any Serious Discussion Of Sanctification.

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