The Calvinist Chronicle

Family Learns About Uzzah After Son Gives Unscheduled Demonstration    SUBURBAN LIVING ROOM — A nine-year-old boy reportedly fell to the floor within seconds of completing and lifting the Ark of the Covenant included in his family’s new Bible Bricks® Wilderness Tabernacle Set, producing the most theologically intense product demonstration ever witnessed between a coffee table and a basket of unfolded laundry. The child, identified only as Caleb due to his parents’ stated desire to “avoid bringing reproach upon the covenant-building community,” had spent three hours meticulously assembling the tabernacle, altar, laver, courtyard, veils, and miniature Ark before asking if he could “make it travel to Jerusalem.” “He had just finished the last gold-colored brick,” said his father, who had entered the room halfway through the project to ask whether there were “supposed to be this many tiny pieces.” “Then Caleb picked up the Ark, took two steps, tripped over a zebra brick, and went ...