Man Accidentally Traces Pentagram While Tightening Lug Nuts, Begins Praying “Jesus Take The Wheel”

He fears he has cursed the vehicle, though experts say the tire is now safely secured, so long as the proper amount of torque was used.

HARTFORD, CT — Local Christian man Brad Ellison entered a state of mild spiritual panic Saturday after tightening the lug nuts on his car in the recommended star pattern and realizing he had spent the last five minutes drawing what appeared to be a pentagram directly onto the wheel.

The star or crisscross sequence is a standard method for evenly tightening five-lug wheels, helping prevent uneven pressure and wheel distortion. But Ellison said the safety rationale did little to comfort him once he noticed the pattern’s five-point geometry.

“I was just trying to torque everything to manufacturer specification,” Ellison said. “Then I stepped back and thought, ‘Why does this look like something my youth pastor warned us about in 2004?’”

A pentagram is a five-pointed star figure, historically used in several contexts and sometimes associated with the occult. Ellison immediately dropped his torque wrench, placed one hand on the hood, and began praying that the Lord would “take the wheel in the most literal and immediate sense possible.”

His wife reminded him that “Jesus Take the Wheel” is a country song, not a formal rite for reversing accidental automotive curses.

“Then why does it feel so appropriate?” Ellison replied.

Ellison reportedly considered loosening every lug nut and tightening them clockwise, but his neighbor warned that uneven tightening could create actual safety problems.

“So now I have to choose between sound automotive practice and a suspiciously shaped geometry lesson,” Ellison said. “This is why I normally pay someone else to change my tires.”

At press time, Ellison had placed a small fish decal on the hubcap, prayed over the spare tire, and scheduled an appointment with a mechanic “just to make sure the car is under grace and properly torqued.”

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