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The Chosen Replaces Controversial Angels With Twelve Legions Of CGI Alan Ritchsons

 “Finally, a heavenly host that looks exactly how I imagined it,” says viewer who imagined Reacher.




Following backlash over the appearance of angelic warriors in its season-six teaser, The Chosen has unveiled a revised heavenly host consisting entirely of digitally duplicated Alan Ritchsons.

The original teaser prompted debate over angels whose clothing and weapons appeared inspired by Indigenous American cultures, with some viewers alleging forced diversity and others welcoming the artistic interpretation. 

Producers resolved the controversy by opening a single character file labeled “LARGE MAN” and pressing copy until the computer requested additional cooling.

“We heard the concerns about taking artistic liberties with heavenly beings,” a production spokesman explained. “So we replaced those liberties with different liberties that tested better.”

The revised scene features thousands of identical, broad-shouldered angels standing behind Jesus, each wearing a white robe apparently tailored by someone who ran out of fabric around the upper arms.

A casting memo described the desired aesthetic as “big, strong, white, straight male,” followed by the production note: “Audience must understand all four before he draws the sword.”

“The wings were obscuring the shoulders,” a visual-effects artist explained. “We had to decide what communicated heavenly power.”

Initial screenings reportedly reassured viewers who had demanded a more biblical depiction.

“Those other angels looked like somebody had imposed their cultural assumptions on Scripture,” one satisfied fan said. “These look like the television programs I already watch.”

Ritchson, known for playing the title character in Reacher, provided the visual template for the replacement army. 

To distinguish individual angels, artists gave one Ritchson a sword, another Ritchson a slightly larger sword, and a third Ritchson the expression of a man discovering that Rome had canceled his gym membership.

A theological consultant suggested that making every angel resemble an American action star might not actually settle the question of biblical fidelity.

He was reassigned to checking sandal continuity.

Meanwhile, a viewer who had complained that the original scene looked like a fantasy franchise praised the revision as “basically Reacher, but with twelve thousand Reachers.”

Asked whether this was also a fantasy-franchise aesthetic, he explained that it was different because he liked it.

The production’s greatest challenge remained depicting an overwhelming heavenly army without allowing it to overwhelm the point of the scene.

“We need viewers to understand that Jesus is willingly submitting to arrest,” an editor explained. “Unfortunately, our focus group keeps asking when the Alans get to start punching.”

At press time, producers had added a “Fear not” subtitle after test audiences mistook the arrival of the heavenly host for a trailer announcing a Reacher multiverse.

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