“People kept saying the church is not Israel,” pastor explains. “We have updated the sign.”
SUBURBAN AMERICA — First Presbyterian Church voted Sunday to rename its congregation “Israel,” announcing that the change would resolve centuries of theological disagreement through what elders called “a straightforward application of ecclesiastical branding.”
The decision followed years of arguments with dispensationalist neighbors who insisted that Israel and the church must remain distinct.
“They asked us to show them where the church is called Israel,” said Pastor Cornelius Westminster. “We directed them to the bulletin, the website, and the illuminated sign beside the parking lot. At some point, you have to deal with the evidence.”
The session approved the name change unanimously after rejecting “First Covenant Continuity Presbyterian Church” as too long for the church van.
Historic Reformed covenant theology generally describes Jews and Gentiles united in Christ as one covenant people, emphasizing fulfillment and continuity rather than God discarding the Jews and replacing them with an unrelated Gentile institution. Reformed theologians therefore often reject “replacement theology” as a misleading description of their position.
Pastor Westminster acknowledged the distinction but said the congregation’s communications committee had requested “something that could fit on a mug.”
“We spent thirty years explaining grafting, fulfillment, and covenant continuity,” he said. “Then somebody suggested changing the letterhead. Attendance at our apologetics meetings has never been higher.”
The announcement immediately complicated relations with a neighboring Bible church.
“I preached last Sunday that Israel is not the church,” its pastor said. “Then they invited me to the Israel church picnic. This is not an argument. This is administrative entrapment.”
Local residents also expressed confusion after receiving a flyer announcing “Israel’s Annual Yard Sale.”
“I assumed it was a very ambitious fundraiser,” one neighbor said. “Apparently, they just need a new fellowship-hall refrigerator.”
Inside the congregation, enthusiasm grew rapidly. The men’s breakfast became “The Gathering of the Tribes,” while the hospitality committee proposed renaming its coffee station “The Land Flowing With Cream and Honey.”
Elders rejected a motion to divide the parking lot into twelve tribal allotments after learning that three families had already requested the spaces closest to the sanctuary.
“We are trying to clarify covenant theology,” one elder said. “Not establish hereditary rights to the shaded parking.”
The pastor also cautioned members that the new name did not grant geopolitical authority, territorial claims, or permission to describe the neighboring church’s property as “the promised expansion.”
“Union with Christ is not acquired by filing a name-change form,” he explained. “We are making a point about our understanding of Scripture. We are not claiming that the county clerk administers the covenant of grace.”
Nevertheless, church members celebrated what they considered a decisive theological victory.
“They said Israel means Israel,” one deacon remarked. “We agree. Our service starts at ten.”
At press time, the neighboring dispensationalist congregation had renamed itself “Not Israel,” prompting both churches to announce a joint food drive under the increasingly difficult slogan, “Israel And Not Israel: Serving One Community.”
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